Starting from Scratch

As I near the end of my undergraduate journey, I realize that being an author is very competitive and difficult to start, especially from the ground up.

Therefore, I will commit to update my blog on a regular basis, to build my network, and share with the world what talent I have for writing.

I will post short stories, clips from my novel-in-progess, and also voice opinions on current events and reviews on product.

This is a new commitment for me, and I am very happy to get it started. Time to get down to business.

If you have any ideas on topics, or if you want to share some of your poetry/writing, or if you want me to do a review on your product, simply comment on my posts or e-mail me.

Let's DO THIS! =D

Dancing and "Dancing"

In the midst of going out this weekend with some girlfriends and my brother-in-law, I just came across something that continues to peeve me to this day...

LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT!!!

I am a DANCER. I'm not a "DANCER". 

What is the difference, you may ask?

A dancer is someone who's studied and has a passion for dance since she was very young. When I was 5, I was enrolled in a ballet class. The next year, jazz. The next year, tap. A few years later, salsa. A few years later, ball room. Took HipHop in 2008. And belly dancing in 2009. I studied dance since I was five, and have a high passion for it. I do freestyles, and choreography. I can pop lock, do all that.

A "dancer" is someone who thinks these "dougies" and "crank dances" and "twerking" are amazing dances and that's what they do. There's no passion. They do it for attention in the club. 

Don't get me wrong, I love to dougie, I know quite a few crank dances, and I'll twerk in a hot minute when one of my songs comes on ("HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?!?!?!" lol) but I'm more than just an attention whore.

That's not all I do, and that's not the only place I dance. I dance in my garage, I dance in my room, in a studio. I don't dance just when people are around... 

I dance for ME. I dance to DE-STRESS. I dance to HAVE FUN.

I hate when I tell people I dance and they say "Oh ya gon come "DANCE" for me??!!!"

I hate going through these definitions and explanations.

iDANCE. i"DANCE".

Believe I do both...but I "dance" when I'm havin fun wit some girlfriends at a club, house party, etc. I dance for ME.

Friendship and Suicide

Good afternoon, whoever you are...

My topic for right now is Friendship.

I used to think Friendship was an amazing thing. Was something that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But over the years, I realize who I give my friendship to, found me disposable. Recently, I went through a huge emotional roller coaster, and the people I thought were there for me forever, didn't bother about me. So, the result, I felt like I wasn't worthy of friendship nor did anyone care.

I told someone dear to me about it (my big brother Evan) and last week, amidst a breakdown of feeling like no one gave a damn about me, I did another suicide attempt. I took a bottle of prescription pills and cried all night. My brother freaked out, and my boo Kendrick threatened to call 911, the police, etc. 

Unfortunately, at the time, the pills didn't work and I woke up unharmed. I knew this was an attempt that wouldn't go through because overdose never worked for me before. However, I took this as another sign that I'm not supposed to go out like that. 

Yeah, those who claimed friendship left me out, tossed me in the gutter, etc., etc. But a wise person once told me, "When one is born to lead, they often feel alone. Those who truly support your leadership will be there for you forever." And I repeat this every time I feel alone. It's not that I don't need friends, nor am I worthy of them; It's just I haven't ran into any true friends. I am a Junior in college, and I'm wondering if that's possible. ......Time will tell....

In the meantime....

"When one is born to lead, they often feel alone. Those who truly support your leadership will be there for you forever."

Your thoughts?