Good afternoon, whoever you are...
My topic for right now is Friendship.
I used to think Friendship was an amazing thing. Was something that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But over the years, I realize who I give my friendship to, found me disposable. Recently, I went through a huge emotional roller coaster, and the people I thought were there for me forever, didn't bother about me. So, the result, I felt like I wasn't worthy of friendship nor did anyone care.
I told someone dear to me about it (my big brother Evan) and last week, amidst a breakdown of feeling like no one gave a damn about me, I did another suicide attempt. I took a bottle of prescription pills and cried all night. My brother freaked out, and my boo Kendrick threatened to call 911, the police, etc.
Unfortunately, at the time, the pills didn't work and I woke up unharmed. I knew this was an attempt that wouldn't go through because overdose never worked for me before. However, I took this as another sign that I'm not supposed to go out like that.
Yeah, those who claimed friendship left me out, tossed me in the gutter, etc., etc. But a wise person once told me, "When one is born to lead, they often feel alone. Those who truly support your leadership will be there for you forever." And I repeat this every time I feel alone. It's not that I don't need friends, nor am I worthy of them; It's just I haven't ran into any true friends. I am a Junior in college, and I'm wondering if that's possible. ......Time will tell....
In the meantime....
"When one is born to lead, they often feel alone. Those who truly support your leadership will be there for you forever."
Your thoughts?
3 comments:
Damn homie thats deep. Dont be scaring me in chelle like dat...we need ya to help us go ham nikkaz on twitter lol. Keep ya head up homie
Haha, thanks Big Herb!! I couldn't leave ya'll...=]
aww mi #9miillii
i feel ya tho, right now i have no real friends anymore ones i got i ignore they calls&cut them loose because i knew they were never there when truly needed&only brought more drama (as u can see i gotta enough goin on without them included so u know shit use2be crazy lol) so yea things get hard and u feel alone,i do alot of times and wanna give up but after losing some1 dat seemed so full of life and had so many friends its like why would he do something that would make someone take his life.we gotta live for those who aren't anymore no matter how bad it hurts sometimes because u may be alone now but honey when u die everybody and they mama claim they was yo bestfriend but then its too late. when i get like this i listen to "hold on"-good charlotte&alot avril lavigne old music and just cry,draw write what ever it is u like2do to get it out.u dont have2always tell a person just letn yoself know the reality of the situation and letting go is the best bcuz sometime friends opinions can only make it worse. Become confident with being jemiella and havin yo own back. yea im strange,crazy like 2 do wear crazy hair& shit lol but u know i dont care now.dats why got bout 999877 pics lol flaws and all yall gon see me wild&all till i die being CC. so fk what a bitch think etc go do whatever makes u happy miella,be yo own bestfriend!
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